A large part of dating is learning about each other’s past, and it can be a fun time to listen to stories. The storyteller takes the time to ensure they set up their testing of a partner at this point in the relationship. Their method is to tell humorous stories about events that happened in their childhood, and they often seem to be sharing the joke with their new partner. Once the relationship has reached a level where a commitment is made, the stories change their pattern.
Experience is a large part of how subtlety is learned. Those who choose to tell their partners stories on a regular basis have learned how to manipulate them without notice. They may start off as funny stories about childhood or how their own culture differs, but they eventually become a way to let their partner know they will never be good enough.
Part of how the stories work is to talk about the wonderful times the teller had as a child, and then they compare it to an incident that happened when interacting with a person from their partner’s area of the country. The outsider then becomes a person of lower moral values, or they may be presented as inferior in intellect. Constantly telling these stories can eventually erode a partner’s sense of worth, and that is their goal.
For those who have a partner manipulating them in this way, it can be difficult to pinpoint their own feelings of depression or inferiority. Tales told as a means of entertainment are generally missed as the trigger point for this type of red flag in a relationship, but those who constantly find they are defending their own childhood or culture should be aware of what is occurring. The funny stories are for putting them in their lower space instead of enlightening them as to the wonderful childhood their partner had.